The Pit of Self-Pity

Self pity comes in slowly. Waves of thoughts that start shallow and soon are crashing over your whole sense of self. There are, when you cut it down, two options of who you can be. You can be consumed with yourself, settling in self-pity. Or perhaps you can be of a humble and quiet spirit, resting not in yourself, but in God.

We will not reach higher ground when we are focused not on where we are called, but focused on the comparison of where we are and where we want to be. Comparison kills joy, and comparison will throw your mindset into the pit of self-pity.  

 

Self-Pity’s Pit

Self-pity is just pride. And this is the warning I want us to heed as we talk about self-pity that comes from Proverbs 26:27 “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them.” There are consequences to pride. Your pity is a pit that you will fall into of hopelessness. 

 Self-pity will draw lines in your life that God never placed for you. When we are too consumed with ourselves we lack the courage to go beyond ourselves.  It is a narcissistic mindset. As Christians we are called to love others by serving. . 

Without a doubt, it is okay to feel the emotions of disappointment, sadness, or frustration. However, it is how we allow these emotions to influence us that is important.

 

Boasting

Who can boast among us? No one but Christ, and in Christ alone is our boast. I want to take a moment to acknowledge the flip side of self-pity, which is boasting. It is a thin line between the two. We are not to boast in ourselves, just as we are not to pity our situation. Both of these sins of pride feed on insecurity. 

A verse I love is 2 Corinthians 11:30 which says “If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.” In my weakness Christ is shown strong. This is why my confidence is in God, because I know that he turns all things for good. Remember that the only hero is Jesus.

Let us remember that love does not boast. It does not boast of ourselves as love does not put others down. And if we are in a mindset of self-pity let us remember that love does not want to drag down others to serve us.

Longsuffering and Endurance

There are many times in life that we have to wait for hopes and dreams to come to pass. Undoubtedly, sometimes in long suffering we fall into a passivity of pursuing the celebration of God and life. When we focus on what is wrong we become angry and disappointed. In self-pity there is an expectation that we are owed a solution and are looking for it to come around every corner. This is a lie. 

We endure long suffering because in it there is glory to God. Because in it God is still good. Romans 5:3-4 puts it wonderfully: “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,”

There is intentionality in pursuing God. And in this intentionality we are constantly shutting-down the temptation to feel bad about our situations. There is intentionality, effort, and sometimes a war that goes on internally as we choose not to be a victim.

Today there is a choice to turn our minds and hearts towards God. Towards praising him who is good. Remember a spirit of praise casts off a spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61: 1-3)

 

Never let self-pity rule over you. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally by leaning into God. Let self-pity die as you put your life on the altar for God. When God says “Who will go?” And you say “Me.” This is where we stop complaining. Take the hits that life gives you and choose to glorify God in speech and action. 

In God alone we boast. And in God is the victory.

Coral Faith